Sunday, January 04, 2009

When to say enough...

I have not wanted to blog about a current situation that I am in, just because whenever I think about it, it brings horrible feelings, and bad thoughts to my mind. I don't like feeling like that or having those bad thoughts, so I have avoided, though I think I just need to write about it and get it out and hopefully off of my heart.

My husband and I have had a friendship with someone that has gone completely awry. I am not going to say who this person is because I believe in not spoiling a name for others. Anyway, so when JV and I met back in 2004, he was friends with this person. Best friends pretty much, and they always hung out, and were really close...until I came into the picture.

When JV and I started dating she was less and less in his circle because he was spending more and more time with me and developing our relationship. His friend did not like that. So she did some pretty horrible things to try to get us to either break up or drive a wedge between us. She did that for about 1 and 1/2 years. Until JV and I got married.

Things from her end slowed down because I think she realized that there was nothing she could do that would make us separate. And slowly, her and I became friends. We would get together socially at first because I still didn't "trust" her to the point of wanting her that close to me. And after about another year we were pretty good friends. She would come over to our house, and hang out with me when JV had school or when she got off of work. She even told me at one point that I was becoming one of her "best" friends. And, I took that at face value, cause I always try to see the best in people. OK so we have been going pretty well for the last year and a half or so.

Fast forward to November. We were at a mutual friends house for a birthday celebration. And a few people were in the kitchen getting dinner ready, grabbing beverages and what not. Well, it ended up just being her and JV in the kitchen alone, OK...I need to back track a little....she was trying to break us up in the beginning because she was "in love" with him, and wanted him for herself......OK, back to November, so they were in the kitchen. He was telling her how this quarter in school is going to be very busy for him, and he won't be home as much has he had been in previous quarters. He told her that it would be great if she could come "rescue" me from just being at home all day.

She looked at him, and said "I don't want to do that." He was a little surprised because he thought that we were good friends, so he asks her "Why?" and she said "Because I think your wife is annoying and whiny, and I don't want to hang out with her.....even your son is annoying and whiny."
At this point JV is thinking "What in the world are you telling me this about MY family for?" and she proceeds to say "But I think you are great!"

OK, can you see why I am frustrated and why this is really hard for me to get over? Not only has she called me those things, but to say them about our TWO year old son! I was livid when JV told me about this. I mean, if she didn't want to be my friend, that's OK, I can live with that. But to sit there and call us these things, and then tell my husband that she thinks he is "OK" just boils my blood.

All of this makes me think that the only reason she was even my friend was to be close to MY husband. So anyway, JV and I have cut all ties with her, and we are letting that so called friendship go...

I just hope I can figure out what God is trying to teach me in all of this. It hurts so bad to think that I put so much into someone just to have it thrown back at me. So please pray for me as I try to let this go and let God take it. I know there is a purpose and a reason for everything, I am just trying to figure it out. I have had trust issues in my past, and I have come to realize that this situation can hinder the progress I have made with that. So I have been praying about it, and venting to my husband, and just trying to see Gods will in all of this...Thanks for letting me vent to you, whoever reads this.
Heavenly Father,
Please forgive my ugly thoughts toward this situation, and help me to see that You have Your hands in everything that goes on in my life. Help me to forgive and let go. Bless everyone involved that they will more clearly see You. Thank You for the people in our lives, and thank You for the avenue of prayer that I can come to You and let all of my burdens and heavy heart wash away. Thank You Lord for Your Son. And thank You Lord for the family that You have blessed me with. Help me to heal and to learn to trust more in the way that You would see fit.


Jesica said...


Try to stay thankful for the real friends you do have - that do love you - that enjoy your son. Even if he is whining. :o)

Because we're the ones that really count. God wants you let good into your life - and reject that which is not from Him. I'd say this situation is best let go.


Leah said...

Elisha, you are beautiful, inside and out. Thank you for sharing your burden in this way, being so transparent...

You can be confident in JV. His dedication and loyalty to you is worthy of your trust and that is the second most important place for your trust to rest (but you know that *wink*).

And if there is one thing that I have learned through tough situations like that it is this: Jesus is the only perfect man and that means that he is the only one you can expect to NEVER let you down. Take the rest in a stride, protect your family from divisive people like this person and pray for her, your husband and your kiddo. You are all worthy of God's grace... your prayer shows that you believe that.

You are wonderful!

Ella_C said...

Thank you Jes, and Leah for your words of encouragement through this time. It people like you that are really helping me to let go and let God! I love you both dearly. Leah, you are absolutely right, and I have not questioned JV's loyalty in anyway in this whole mess. He is proving to me more and more each day that I can COMPLETELY trust him. For that I am very thankful. And how blessed are we that we have a PERFECT, and ever LOVING GOD! That we can bring this kind of situation to him through prayer and HE will always be there to TRUST in Him. We are truly blessed.